


The Very Unexpected Diary of Radagast the Brown

by windfallswest



Series: The Very Unexpected Diaries [6]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crack, Diary/Journal, Epistolary, Gen, Humor, Very Secret Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-25
Updated: 2013-02-25
Packaged: 2017-12-03 15:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windfallswest/pseuds/windfallswest





	The Very Unexpected Diary of Radagast the Brown

**Aiwendil of the Istari**

 

 **Day 1**  
Like Middle Earth. Good Mushrooms.

 

 **Day 673,425**  
Look, there's a Dwarvish fellow in a hole. That's a bit odd. Well, where do you expect to find Dwavish fellows except in holes? Hey, Dwarvish fellow! Mirkwood getting crowded lately, what?

 

 **Day 673,790**  
Hm.

 

 **Day 674,155**  
It was a queerly small hole, though.

 

 **Day 674, 520**  
Oh, well.

 

 **Day 675,350**  
Was watching pair of rutting weasels when Gandalf came and ruined mood. No wonder Gandalf called 'the Grey': is always surrounded by noxious fumes.

 

 **Day 708,404**  
Bitch did not just mess with my hedgehogs. I put up with necromancers and their pet spiders and Elves popping magic tables about everywhere and dumping hair bleach in river, but bitches do not touch Sebbie.

Bother, is more giant spiders. Ungolianti such a pain: refuse to die, just keep getting smaller. Harder to get rid of than cockroaches. You know, I rather like roaches, excellent conversationalists. See so many interesting places.

 

 **Day 708,405**  
Oh, look. Creepy zombie statues w/ swords. Who gave this hipster twat a zoning permit? Saw this ep. of Doctor Who already.

 

 **Day 708,410**  
Wheee!

 

 **Day 708,413**  
Ran into Gandalf. Still smells foul. Hanging out with Orcs now, and band of hairy newts. The one with ax sticking out of head keeps giving me fish-eye.

White Council meeting this weekend. Will have to hurry if want to be back in Mirkwood before they notice am in range.

 

 **Day 708,414**  
Wheee!


End file.
